Phuket truly does have something for everyone.  In my Peaceful Phuket post, I touched on some of the more family-friendly, softer activities – which are all amazing and I wouldn’t suggest passing up any of them.  But you should also know that there is a darker, wilder, raunchier side to Thailand’s largest island, and this is the party in Phuket!

Thai Boxing

Muay Thai is a combat sport of stand-up striking combined with various clinching techniques.  If you aren’t familiar with Muay Thai and other forms of martial arts, I suggest you check it out.  Thai children begin their practice at a very young age; many of the schools we saw in Thailand actually had boxing rings in the schoolyard!  Because of this, there are some very talented competitors in Thailand.  Many events also include international fighters, and most allow betting, which makes it all the more interesting.  Fights are held several nights each week, and trust me, the guys driving around yelling “To-night — Muay Thai — Box-ing” will ensure you don’t miss the event.

Jet-Ski Rentals

If speed and water are your passion, you’ll be glad to know that on any beach in Phuket you can find jet-ski rentals.  For a fair price, you can rent the jet-ski for a specific amount of time, and cruise around to your heart’s delight.  Do keep in mind thought that some people can be scammers, and may try to take advantage of a tourist.  Be sure you both inspect the vehicle prior to taking it, so that you both agree on what damage it does or does not have.  That way when you return it, you won’t be blamed for that scratch and have to pay for it.  (Some rentals will ask for your passport as collateral – don’t do this.  Find another rental guy farther down the beach).  And at the same time, be respectful of their property, and drive the jet-ski as if it were your own.

In addition to jet-ski’s, you’ll find that you’re able to try para-sailing, cable skiing, charter your own speedboat, try out the Ringo Rides (large inflatable vessels dragged behind a speedboat), and much more.  So have fun!

Bangla Road

The infamous Bangla Road in Patong Beach comes alive in a big way after dark.  Packed solid with people, and lined with nothing but bars and clubs, this place plays to all your senses.  Stop for a picture with some lovely kathoey’s (Thai for “ladyboy”), grab a shot at the -30*C Ice Bar, and ring the bell at any Beer Bar to buy a shooter (~1,000 Baht) for each patron!  We even found a Husband Day Care, where they promised to take care of my hubby for me while I shopped, and I only had to pay for one beer!  (After careful consideration, I passed on this opportunity).

The main venues along Bangla Road include Cabaret Shows, Go-Go Bars, and Ping Pong Shows, which I describe in more detail below.

Cabaret Shows

Cabaret show are professionally choreographed performances, with nice stages and well-designed sets, gorgeous costumes, and beautiful ladies.  Of course, most of the time the ladies are actually kathoey’s – but they are VERY convincing, and as I said, so beautiful.  Cabaret shows will cost you anywhere from 600 – 900 Baht ($22.00 – 33.00 CDN) per person, and can be found nearly anywhere.

Go-Go Bars

Go-Go bars are probably the closest thing to a Western “strip club” you’ll find in Thailand.

Though the girls don’t actually strip, they dance all night long for your entertainment.  Usually they are numbered, and if you’d like to buy a girl a drink and have her sit with you for a while, you can request this.  At the end of your night, for a fee, you can usually take a girl from the bar to spend some time with you, whether that be for a few hours, for the night, or longer, depends on you, the girl, and your wallet.

Most of these girls are actually girls, not kathoey’s, but if you’re unsure, you can politely ask – they will be honest with you.

Ping Pong Shows

This was at once the most interesting and most crude thing I had seen in my life.  I certainly would not make a habit of going to these shows, but if you’ve never been, and you don’t consider yourself delicate, then hey, you only live once right?

These ladies DO strip, and they take no time doing so.  The idea behind the show is basically women doing unusual things with their, umm, lady-parts.  This can include shooting ping pong balls (hence the name of the show), blowing whistles, smoking, drinking water, and more — yes, all with their lady-parts.  That’s pretty much the gist of it.

If you’re near Bangla Road, or any other central party area in Thailand, you won’t have to look for these shows.  They have reps running around with cards and whistles who will gladly grab you and pull you into their venue.  If you’re game, go ahead, but if not you may need to stand your ground quite firmly.  These guys can get pushy, so you’ll need to make it clear that you’re not interested, preferably without being rude or getting angry.

I do suggest that you go with a group, and go later in the night when it’s likely to be busy.  If you’re one of few patrons, a lot of attention will be on you, which means you will be buying a lot of drinks for the girls and may be hassled to pay a magically-out-of-proportion bill prior to leaving.  A helpful tip we were given from a UK native living in Thailand was to never go upstairs or downstairs to a bar.  Apparently the “shadier” bars live here, while the ones on ground level tend to me more relaxed, and you can come and go as you please with no expectations.

I’m sure I could write an entire post about my Ping Pong Show experience, but that can wait for another day…

---

The Fine Print:

** I do understand that a lot of this can be controversial.  Prostitution in Thailand is a huge issue, but it IS a reality.  I’ve spoken with women who are okay with this, and happy to be supporting themselves and their families to an extent they could not with any other job.  And I’ve also spoken with women who are not as okay with this, and are working towards getting out.  Arguments can be made for both sides, and I’m not here to take sides.  Obviously I’d like to see every woman be happy, healthy, and free of such confines – but unfortunately, we’re not there today.
I want to make it clear that I am not endorsing any of these venues, but simply reporting on what is out there.  Feel free to leave your comments below.